Darkness Within
by Ikuni Hattori
Summary: She had been the anchor for them for years, bringing them back when they needed her. But when her family all turned to darkness, leaving her alone in the light, is the slide back to darkness really that scary? Rated T just to be safe


So, I was bored at Girl Scout Camp, and when I get bored, I end up writing. XP I can't remember what had sparked this one, but as I was typing it up, it turned out much better than what I had originally written, haha. :3 Anyway, read and review! I kind of like making these one-shots, just because I get to develop my characters before the actual story takes place! I love you all!

Summary: She had been the anchor for them for years, bringing them back when they needed her. But when her family all turned to darkness, leaving her alone in the light, is the slide back to darkness really that scary?

For most of the last ten years, she could sense him. . .she could sense all of them. . .her husband, her sons. . .they were still alive. They were all still immersed in the light. She, herself, had to have atoned for her sins to be able to stay connected to her family. She had to be the anchor for all of them, and everything was looking up for the family of six. But. . .

Something had gone wrong. Her and Riku has been on the island for only four years and everything was wonderful. She was no closer to finding her other sons, or her husband, but she knew for sure that none of them were on the islands with them. Riku was only ten when Astasia staggered in the middle of the grocery store. He had been in school at the time, so he never knew. But the islanders who knew Astasia rushed to support her as her basket of produce hit the floor. She had sunken to her knees, but quickly recovered, shaking off helping hands. She hurried home, and no more than two hours later, Riku came home to find Liikka cooking dinner for them while Calu and Besadi were waiting hand and foot on his grumpy mother. When he asked, they had calmly explained that his mother was feeling unwell and they were here just for tonight. He knew that wasn't the real reason, but when he pressed, no one would tell him anymore. When the three natives left their house later that night, Riku tried his mother once more. She merely told him that she couldn't feel his father anymore, and Riku immediately understood. He had often asked about his other brothers, and his father, and Astasia had always answered truthfully.

Soon after her connection with Sephiroth was severed, she couldn't feel her three eldest sons, either. Like the stars in the sky, one by one, the connections she had with her boys went out. She was in the middle of taking a bath late at night when her body had seized up, and then weakened considerably, causing her to sink below the water. In a panic, she emerged a few seconds later, realizing her eldest son, Loz, had disappeared into the darkness. Her second son descended into darkness right when she was training Riku when he was twelve. He had struck her with his training sword, a foam bat, when she had crumpled to the ground. He had only hit her leg, so he knew he hadn't injured her when she chose to clutch her heart, instead. Her breathing had become ragged, and, in her mind, she knew she had just lost Yazoo to the darkness.

After that, she had worried. Her attacks seemed to get more violent every time a member of her family strayed from the light, and she knew it was because she was the anchor for them all. But it didn't seem to matter anymore. They all chose their own paths.

Riku was thirteen when the next attack came. There was no great fanfare, but Astasia was taking a nap in her room when she was suddenly woke up to her body frozen in place. Her insides seemed like they were being cut up with razor knives, and she was unable to produce the screams that would alert her youngest son. When the pain finally receded and her muscles relaxed, Astasia couldn't feel Kadaj anymore. After so many years, now it was only her and Riku left. She couldn't help but feel very alone.

When it was just her and the fourteen year old Riku left, she had clung to her youngest son, making sure he was taught right from wrong and that he would be able to pick the right choice when the time came. It was so tempting for her to slide back into her old self, to embrace the darkness she had grown up in and had forsaken for raising her family in the light, but the mere thought of leaving her son stranded by himself on a side that has been notorious to rip its champions to shreds kept her from relapsing.

But then Shinra had come to the island to take them away. Riku got away successfully, but Professor Hojo had ensnared her once more. Her son, she was confident enough, would be able to find his father, and his two friends that had disappeared from the island. He had been assured that she would get off the island safely, disallowing the Heartless to consume her heart. She had gotten away safely: just not on her own terms. Professor Hojo didn't want anything to happen to her, after all. She was the perfect breeding partner for Sephiroth, and the perfect bait to lure him back. They had cheated, and used the powers of darkness to rip open a portal to deposit her in darkness. They didn't know that she didn't have a connection with him anymore. They had assumed that she would have called out to him, or that he would have felt her despair, but he had no way of knowing-just as she couldn't feel his presence, he couldn't feel hers.

"Wait here until you are needed," she had been told, and she was then left alone to rage at nothing, to fume at nothing, to cry at nothing.

She had been interrogated before she was put on that platform, of course. They had to find the heir of the Shinra empire, after all, and Astasia told them nothing, since she knew nothing. All she knew was that Sora had disappeared that morning, Kairi leaving a little after that, and Riku followed after them soon after. Rufus had come to her, to try to convince her to tell him where his son was. She told him nothing. He tried to use his wife against her, and Astasia told him that she had disappeared years ago, trying to find a necklace that thieves had stolen off of her when she and her son had first come to the island. Rufus had smiled at her, as if she had told him valuable information, and, as they had brought her to another room for Professor Hojo to give her a checkup, she had gotten a glimpse of Tifa Lockheart in a stunning white dress sitting in a chair, her eyes dull as Rufus stepped toward her. The necklace that had been stolen from her was resting lightly around her neck, pulsing with power it previously had not had, and, Astasia knew, that she had been seduced to the darkness.

Hojo had finally escorted her through a portal of dark power to a platform similar to the Platform of Destiny from her homeworld years ago. It merely didn't have any doors for her to go through. She was just. . .alone.

There was barely any light. The platform beneath her feet let off a soft glow, but there wasn't much to be had. All else was in complete darkness, and her struggle to prevent her slide back into the darkness was getting harder and harder each day. She wasn't sure how she knew, but three days had passed before she had contact with anyone-or anything-else.

But it had only taken her three days in her darkened prison before she had another attack.

As she was writhing on the floor, her screams flinging off into the black beyond the platform, Professor Hojo had suddenly appeared on the platform and had enough sense to restrain Astasia to keep from thrashing out and hurting herself or him. As the pain fell away, she realized she couldn't even feel Riku anymore.

"He must have stepped fully into the darkness," she mumbled aloud, a little startled at how raspy she sounded. The tears streaming down her face startled her, and her stomach suddenly clenched in hunger. She pushed those feelings down as she closed her eyes to try to seek out any of her family. All had fully immersed themselves into the darkness they had long sworn off, and she couldn't help but feel a little betrayed at the thought.

A familiar prick at her neck and she knew that her father-in-law had just given her a sedative to let her body-and her mind-rest.

It was a few days after she had woken up that she realized that her thoughts had turned dark. What she would do to certain people when she was let out. How she would travel the corridors of darkness to find her husband and sons.

A voice suddenly echoed at the back of her mind. _You could find them, you know. You need only forsake the light and rejoin your husband and sons in the darkness. It is where you belong. It is where you have always belonged. . ._

Astasaia couldn't help it. She felt the smirk on her face as her thoughts turned to her family. She loved her family too much. The only reason why she had stayed in the light was to raise her sons right, and to be the anchor they needed when they had dipped too far. But, there was no redeeming themselves right now. She couldn't even contact them if she wanted to.

_ But there is a way. . ._

She would do anything to be with her family. She simply loved her family too much. And, if it meant she'd have to surrender herself to the darkness to be with them, then so be it.

Without having to say a word, she felt the darkness pressing upon her from all sides. Her eyes closed, and she opened her heart to the dark power that had once tainted it. It was true, that heart had both light and darkness inside of it, and the darkness, nor the light, can ever truly leave a heart. Light needed the darkness to thrive, and the shadows needed the light to survive. Her thoughts turned to her newly rediscovered powers, powers she barely remembered using anymore, but could use at a moment's notice due to ingrained familiarity. It was like riding a bike, this feeling. It was exhilarating. Not having to worry about what her actions will do to other people. It made her. . .free.

She raised her hands above her head to start chanting a spell when a portal opened up behind her. Hojo stepped out, and when he saw the orb of darkness growing between her hands, he attempted to stop her.

"Astasia, no!" He rushed toward her, but he was already too late. Her countenance had hardened into the impenetrable mask she had work long ago. She sent a pulse of dark energy toward Hojo and he dodged enough of it that it didn't kill him upon impact. It merely sent him spiraling into the barrier at the edge of the platform, preventing him from being sent into the darkness beyond it. He lifted himself up with a harsh cough. "Don't do this! You need to stay in the light!" he exclaimed as he tried to get to his feet. She sneered at him.

"Says the poster child for chaos and destruction," she seethed. "It's too late, anyway. What you created a long time ago has finally come back. Or," she continued as she shot her arms forward and sent the ball of dark in front of her. A portal of swirling dark energy opened up in front of her, and, giving her father-in-law a scathing look, she stepped fully into the corridor of darkness and it closed behind her, leaving the injured scientist in the darkness. She walked through the corridor of spiraling dark energy and she smiled as she felt her power returning to her. Balls of dark energy crashed into her body, but they caused her no harm. Instead, each orb of energy rejuvenated her body, changing her 'mother of a teenager' wardrobe into something more fitting of the warrior she once was. Instead of the simple yellow bikini with a black sarong that had an enormous pink flower on it and her off-white thong sandals, her outfit changed to her old uniform from when she was still the Lieutenant General of the Shinra Army. She wore a leather skirt, a black leather crop top that ended under her breasts embracing her chest. Her shoulder pads materialized, tassels and all, and her black leather cape attached to the shoulder guards, her lower arm bracers snaking it's way across her skin. Her jewelry stayed the same, and that was completely fine by her. She had her Materia from her homeworld, shards of a Mastered Cure Materia set in one earring while the shards of a Mastered Manipulate Materia in the other. Her pendant was a full Mastered Summon Materia of Shiva, her wedding ring a Mastered Summon Materia that matched her husband's.

And as she emerged into a hallway in what looked like someone had puked up glitter, playing cards, and pink and red paint, she smiled darkly to herself. Where as, in the light, Astasia sometimes had to concentrate to feel her sons and her husband. But now, fueled by the powers of darkness, Astasia could feel Sephiroth and their boys with no effort on her part whatsoever. She merely had to think of her husband, and he reached out to her, affection sent through their bond from him to her. She knew instantly where he was. He had Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj with him. They were safe, for now. It was Riku that she was worried about. He was lost within his own darkness right now. He's never experienced it before, and was confused. She needed to get to him to help him in his transition.

Because the family that goes dark together, stays together.


End file.
